Monster Veggie Burgers

November 1, 2023

Need something to fortify your trick or treaters for a night of candy gathering? These madcap veggie burgers are just the thing. They’re full of veggies and greens, but how can they protest — monsters are green, right? If you’d like to add more cheese, stick a slice on top of each crisp patty in the last minute or two of cooking.

Total: 1 hr 15 min
Yield: 4 servings



  • 1 cup loosely packed baby kale leaves
  • 1 cup loosely packed Italian parsley leaves
  • 1/2 cup frozen peas, thawed
  • 2 scallions, roughly chopped
  • 2 cloves garlic, crushed
  • 1/2 teaspoon dried oregano
  • Kosher salt and freshly ground black pepper
  • One 15.5-ounce can chickpeas, rinsed and drained
  • 1 large egg
  • 1/2 cup panko
  • 1/2 cup grated Parmesan
  • 3 tablespoons vegetable oil


  • 1 ripe avocado, halved and pitted
  • 2 teaspoons fresh lemon or lime juice
  • Kosher salt
  • 4 pretzel buns, split and lightly toasted
  • 4 small red cabbage leaves
  • Handful baby kale
  • 2 red baby bell peppers
  • 12 cornichons
  • 1 slice yellow Cheddar or American cheese
  • 4 large or jumbo pitted black olives, halved crosswise


1. For the burgers: Combine the kale, parsley, peas, scallions, garlic, oregano, 1 teaspoon salt and several grinds pepper in a food processor. Process until a paste forms and is almost smooth. Add the chickpeas and eggs and pulse until the chickpeas are mostly ground but still a little chunky. Remove to a medium bowl and stir in the panko and Parmesan to make a smooth mixture that holds together. Form into 4 patties, each about 1/2 inch thick, and put on a plate. Refrigerate until firm, 30 minutes to 1 hour.

2. Heat a large nonstick skillet over medium heat and add the oil. Add the patties and cook until the bottoms are crisp and golden, 3 to 4 minutes, then flip and crisp the second side, another 3 to 4 minutes. Remove to a paper towel-lined plate and season lightly with salt.

3. For the assembly: Assemble the burgers while the patties are still hot. Mash the avocado in a small bowl with the lemon juice and 1/2 teaspoon salt. Spread on the bottom buns. Put a cabbage leaf (cut to fit if needed) curved up towards the back of each bun and fit a few kale leaves in the curve. Top each with a veggie patty to prop up the kale and cabbage (these can be monster feathers, fur or even the collar of a cape, depending on your monster’s specific vibe). Close with the top buns. Cut long spiky fangs from the baby bell peppers and stick onto the burgers (the avocado mash will act as glue).

4. Use a toothpick to burrow 2 small holes on each top bun for the horns/ears then 1 more hole toward the front of the bun for the nose. Gently push a cornichon into each hole. Use a very small round cutter to cut out 8 rounds from the cheese. Stick 2 rounds onto each bun for eyes, securing with the frilly toothpicks. Spear the olive halves, cut-side in, onto the toothpicks for eyeballs.

Nutritional Analysis Per Serving:

  • Serving Size : 1 of 4 servings
  • Calories : 631
  • Total Fat : 31 g
  • Saturated Fat : 6 g
  • Carbohydrates : 67 g
  • Dietary Fiber : 15 g
  • Sugar : 11 g
  • Protein : 25 g
  • Cholesterol : 63 mg
  • Sodium : 915 mg
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